to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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