Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
