3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize