Welp...herpes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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