i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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