Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
