his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
