drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
