just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
