worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
