how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
