he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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