I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
