He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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