are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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