Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
third nipple confirmed
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
