OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
