why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
