similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
