is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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