I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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