her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
