Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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