I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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