When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
