I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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