she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
