They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
