yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
