i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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