the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
