last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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