You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
