She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
