I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Congratulations! We have a period
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