No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
