i will never coherently bang her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every concussion has its silver lining
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
