My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Panties = found
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
