I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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