so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
your like the ambassador to my penis.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
