Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
