Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
