he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
