I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The adults are the big ones right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
