if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
