If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
