Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So much Jack, so little girl.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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