I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
