Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
