He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
