it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I supernannyed him into submission
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
